Scent and Memory

The Role of Flower Fragrances in Funerals

"Nothing brings to life again a forgotten memory like fragrance," as Christopher Poindexter beautifully said.

Our sense of smell is deeply tied to memory, and in funeral floristry, this connection can add another layer of meaning to a farewell. Including herbs like rosemary, which symbolises remembrance, doesn’t just serve a decorative purpose—it can transport us back to happy memories, like the scent of rosemary in a Sunday roast, reminding us of family gatherings and time spent with loved ones. It’s a small but powerful way to honour someone’s memory.

Flowers like lavender and Lily of the Valley can evoke similar memories. Lavender, with its soothing fragrance, might remind us of childhood moments, like gathering flower heads or the scent of an elderly relative’s soap. Adding such fragrant blooms to funeral arrangements brings both comfort and familiarity, offering a sense of calm during difficult times. Just as importantly, scents are personal—while one person may dislike the smell of lilies, for another, they might bring a sense of peace and nostalgia.

When my Mum passed, I didn’t hesitate to include freesias in her coffin spray, knowing how much she loved them. I think she would have approved.❤

It’s those personal connections that make funeral flowers more than just a visual tribute—they become a sensory reminder of the person we’re saying goodbye to.

I’ve also been asked to include flowers from a loved one’s garden in the funeral arrangements. Incorporating scented roses, lavender, or rosemary from their own garden adds such a personal touch. These familiar scents remind us of their life, their passions, and the spaces they cherished. In the end, it’s these little details that help us remember, offering comfort and connection through the power of fragrance.

The Healing Power of Flowers

How Funeral Floristry Can Bring Comfort and Closure

Scent has an incredible ability to uplift and heal. Have you ever held a sprig of rosemary, lavender, or rose, closed your eyes, and let its heavenly fragrance wash over you? There's a profound healing that can come through scent, but also through sight and touch. Flowers are calming, bringing peace to even the most difficult situations.

Imagine stepping into a garden – whether your own or a grand one like those at the RHS. It’s not just the fragrances that embrace you, but the vibrant tapestry of colours, the intricate details of each petal, the gentle hum of bees, and the flutter of butterflies. In those moments, we are reminded of something larger than ourselves. The natural world has a way of putting things into perspective, offering serenity in the midst of turmoil. Like us, flowers follow a cycle, and this may help to support us through the grieving process.

Having attended many funerals over the years, I’ve often been struck by how even a modest arrangement of flowers can make an extraordinary difference. Whether adorning the coffin or placed thoughtfully around the venue, flowers bring a gentle beauty that speaks volumes. While everyone’s vision for a funeral may differ, I always feel a pang of sadness when there are no flowers – not even a simple spray of greenery to lift the atmosphere. Flowers have the unique ability to ground us, to focus our thoughts on the person we are remembering. Many families now choose to distribute flowers among the congregation after the service, creating a deeply personal touch. It brings a sense of comfort knowing that these blooms will continue to be appreciated in someone’s home, long after the day has passed.

Certain flowers hold powerful symbolism, evoking not only their meaning and colours but also cherished memories from childhood. Buttercups and daisies often take us back to those simpler times. One flower that always brings a smile to my face is the Antirrhinum – or as I fondly called them, ‘bunny rabbits’. Growing up, my mum would show me how to gently squeeze the flower heads to make them ‘twitch’ like little rabbits. Such a small thing, yet the comfort and joy it brings even now is immeasurable.

Just recently, I visited a family to discuss arrangements for a funeral. The mother had a deep love for wildflowers, and they wanted the floral designs to reflect that natural beauty. We spoke about creating arrangements using only sustainable methods, avoiding plastic and harmful chemicals so that, like the cycle of life, the flowers would eventually compost back into the earth. It felt like such a fitting tribute to a life lived in harmony with nature.

Personalised Farewells

Unique Floral Ideas for Summer Funerals

Summer, with its abundance of blooms, provides an ideal backdrop for creating personalised floral tributes for funerals. The choices are endless, and the selection can reflect the hobbies and personality of your loved one. It doesn't always have to be traditional flowers.

For a gardener, consider a coffin spray that combines both flowers and vegetables or perhaps just veggies and foliage. Men, who might not be fond of traditional floral arrangements, may appreciate the unique textures, colors, and shapes of foliage. Often considered just a filler, greenery can be a stunning centerpiece all on its own, showcasing its versatility and beauty.

Not every arrangement has to be a coffin spray. A meadow-style arrangement in a shallow tin or box is a charming alternative. You could also fill a box with jam jars brimming with flowers, which can then be shared with the congregation after the service.

For someone who loved walking, gardening, or lived in their work boots, these personal items can be transformed into unique vases filled with flowers, fruits, and vegetables. This creative approach honours their life and passions in a meaningful way.

Using seasonal flowers for these arrangements not only aligns with the time of year but also offers a more natural look. Local blooms are not just beautiful—they are also eco-friendly. Why choose imported orchids when there are so many stunning flowers available locally? Supporting local growers not only helps the environment but also upholds traditions of the past.

Incorporating these personalised and eco-friendly ideas into a funeral can create a truly special farewell, celebrating a life well-lived in a unique and memorable way.

The Life of a Solo Funeral Florist

When I delved into the world of floristry, I knew I wasn't signing up for the traditional shop-owner role, complete with staff to manage. But what I didn’t anticipate was the solitude. I even joked about it on Facebook a few weeks back, but there's truth in jest: it all comes back to you. Sure, you're the boss making all the decisions, but you're also the creative mind, the accountant, the delivery person, the receptionist, the social media manager, and let's not forget the ever-important bucket scrubber! It can get lonely, with no one to bounce ideas off or simply chat with. I know it was my choice. However, over time, I've learned there are ways to alleviate the loneliness and not feel so isolated.

 During lockdown, I stumbled upon an online florists' group. It was a lifeline during those tough times, having people who understood the struggles, especially fellow solopreneurs. It provided motivation and a support network that I will be forever grateful for.

 Being my own boss is fulfilling, but sometimes, it's overwhelming – not the creative aspects, mind you. It's things like managing social media that can be draining. I recently took a break from Facebook, and oh, the liberation! Sometimes, prioritising your own well-being and mental health is the best gift you can give yourself.

We often place so much pressure on ourselves, especially with the constant expectation to maintain a social media presence. I have also learned it’s ok to ask for help sometimes, especially with areas that are just not my forte, reaching out to people who are good at the things I struggle with, gives me back the time to focus on the things I love and enjoy most about being a funeral florist.

 To combat overwhelm, I love to experiment with my flowers whenever I can. I've also enrolled in a couple of creative courses – one focused on art and meditation, a gift for the heart and soul, and the other, a willow obelisk workshop. What I've realised is, we don't 'play' enough as adults. As kids, playing was second nature, but somewhere along the line, we lose touch with the gift of playing. Engaging in playful activities transports you, brings joy, and alleviates stress.

So why not give it a try? It doesn't have to be elaborate – pick some flowers from your garden and arrange them in a vase or pick up a colouring book and pencils. You'll be surprised how at peace and in the moment, it can make you feel.

Memorialising a Loved One with a Living Tribute Garden

As a funeral florist, I've had the privilege of helping families create meaningful tributes to honour their loved ones. While traditional cut flower arrangements have their beauty and significance, there's something truly special about creating a living tribute garden that continues to bloom long after the funeral is over.

Imagine a garden filled with vibrant blooms, each one representing a cherished memory of your loved one. Instead of a fleeting arrangement that withers away in a few days, a living flower design composed of small plants offers a lasting tribute. After the funeral, this living tribute can be moved to your garden, where it becomes a permanent fixture, a place of solace and remembrance.

Even if you don't have a garden, there are alternatives to consider. A window box or a large pot can serve as a miniature garden, bringing the beauty of nature into your home and serving as a daily reminder of your loved one's presence.

One of my clients chose to honour both her mother and father with living tributes. She has kindly given me permission to share her picture of the plants that have reappeared for the last few years. It's truly heartwarming to see how these living tributes can bring solace and comfort to those left behind.

But living tributes don't have to stop at the garden. For a larger-scale memorial, consider purchasing a bench and a memorial plaque to place in a woodland area or park. This creates a lasting legacy that extends beyond the individual, with each passing season serving as a reminder of a life well lived.

Another beautiful option is to plant a tree in memoriam. Each tree species carries its own symbolism, offering hope, resilience, and renewal. Whether it's the Silver Birch symbolising regeneration or the willow representing survival in the face of adversity, planting a tree is a powerful way to honour a loved one's memory while making a positive impact on the environment.

Several organisations, such as the Woodland Trust, National Trust, and Life for a Life, offer tree planting services, making it easy to create a lasting tribute that will stand the test of time.

In times of grief, finding ways to honour and remember our loved ones is essential for healing. Whether it's through a living tribute garden, a memorial bench, or a planted tree, these gestures not only keep their memory alive but also bring comfort and solace to those left behind. As a funeral florist, it's truly fulfilling to see the impact these living tributes have on families as they navigate their journey of grief and remembrance.

Floral memorials for Pet Funerals

I was talking to friends this morning about how our dogs become so much part of the family,  for good reason.....they are our companions and confidants, and offer us comfort and unconditional love. And not necessarily just dogs but cats, guinea pigs, horses, whatever your passion.  

Some may argue that they are "just" pets, but as devoted pet owners, we have to disagree. Our pets become like children to us, and their passing leaves an indescribable void in our lives. It is natural, then, that we want to find ways to celebrate their lives and help us grieve, much like we would for any loved one.

So, the question is, should we honour our pets in the same way we do for humans? The answer lies within your own heart. If your pet holds a special place in your life, why not celebrate their life and passing? It doesn't have to be elaborate or complicated; simple gestures can make all the difference.

Consider adorning your pet's final resting place with a small posy of flowers or a potted plant. For example, my guinea pigs rest beneath a beautiful rosemary bush – did you know that rosemary signifies remembrance? Including rosemary in a bouquet is a lovely way to pay tribute to your beloved friend. You could even create a posy of greens, carrots, and cauliflower, incorporating all their favourite foods. These heartfelt gestures provide comfort and bring a touch of their essence to the memorial.

Just like with human funerals, I highly recommend taking pictures of these floral creations. They serve as tangible memories of your cherished pet, bringing a smile to your face even during the most difficult times. These images capture the beauty and love shared between you and your furry companion, ensuring their spirit lives on.

It is important to know that there is no right or wrong way to remember and honour our pets. Each tribute is as unique as the bond we shared with them. Whether it's through simple floral arrangements, photos, or any other personal memento, the key is to find what resonates with you and brings comfort to your grieving heart.

In conclusion, our pets are more than just animals; they are family. Their impact on our lives deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated. So, as you mourn their passing, consider incorporating floral memorials as a way to honour and remember them. By paying tribute to their lives, we validate the love and connection we share, bringing solace during this difficult time.

Unique Autumn Inspired Funeral Flower Ideas

The abundance of summer gives way to less choice in flowers (particularly local farm grown) in Autumn, so it's sometimes necessary to consider using other items within the floral farewell pieces.  

When arranging autumn florals there are so many wonderful natural elements to bring in, it's not always about the blooms; there are seed pods, skeletal stems, horse chestnuts, cones and acorns to name a few.  Leaves in an array of colours.  Pumpkins and gourds.  If someone was an avid gardener and loved their plot or allotment why not include fruit or veg into the design?

For those who appreciate a more rustic and natural look, incorporating twigs, branches, and dried grass can create a beautiful autumn-inspired piece. These elements bring a sense of nostalgia and the beauty of nature's cycle into the arrangement. Adding in some dried lavender or lavender essential oil can also bring a calming and soothing scent to the arrangement.

One flower that comes into its own in Autumn is the Chrysanthemum offering beautiful shades of bronze, pink and red or sunny yellows, golds, creams and whites.  Did you know that the Chrysanthemum means different things to different people and cultures?  In Japan the flower signifies death and whilst many of us associate it with this too, it can also represent rebirth.  The flower can be used to remember a long life full of happiness and joy.

The garden design for a cherished Dad (below) reminds us of the change in seasons. Cones and bark add interest and different textures, whilst rosemary signifies remembrance of the loved one. Dahlias, like Chrysanthemum, epitomise the tones and seasonality of Autumn.

As a funeral florist, it is always important to listen to the wishes and preferences of the grieving family. Whether they prefer a more traditional floral arrangement or want to incorporate the beauty and symbolism of autumn, there are endless possibilities to create a unique and meaningful tribute.

In conclusion, autumn offers a variety of unique and creative options when it comes to funeral flower arrangements. By incorporating natural elements, using seasonal flowers, and adding personal touches, you can create a beautiful and meaningful tribute that honours the life of the departed. Remember, it's not just about the blooms, but also about bringing in the essence of the season and the memories of the loved one.

My Journey as a Funeral Florist

Did I intend to become a florist? If I'm honest, I'd probably say no! After having kids, I knew I wanted to pursue something creative because my previous job as a civil servant didn't really interest me. While it had its moments, I wanted to find something that truly sparked my passion while still allowing me to take care of my children.

Discovering My Passion for Floral Design:

Discovering my passion for floral design came several years later after attending college courses and gaining experience. I started by arranging wedding flowers, which I enjoyed, but it was the funeral work that truly ignited my passion. It's not just about the flowers and creating a design, it's also about listening to the client. Looking back, my experience in the office job actually provided a good foundation for this. As an officer of the Public Trust Office, I was accustomed to helping people who were unable to manage their own finances. It required delicately discussing their needs with their representatives.

As a visual person, I tend to sketch out a few ideas and write down my thoughts when designing a funeral piece. Then, I step away and let them sink in. If it's a complex design, I may consider various options before making a final decision. Ensuring the mechanics of the design work before even considering the flowers allows me to focus on choosing the right foliage and florals.

Inspiring and Crafting Unique Tributes:

Inspiration for my designs often stems from conversations with clients. We discuss how they remember the deceased, including funny moments, unique traits, and passions. It's a privilege to hear their stories. However, it can be challenging at times, especially when I'm surrounded by an entire family with different preferences. Emotions can run high, and my previous office experience comes in handy as I navigate these situations with sensitivity, acting as a mediator. I prefer not to rush people, but decisions need to be made, so I gently guide them toward a conclusion regarding the design.

Navigating Grief and Emotional Resilience:

Attending client meetings can be quite stressful sometimes because I never know what to expect. However, I rely on my judgement and experience to offer advice and guidance. As a sensitive person, I sometimes find it difficult not to become emotional, especially if I know the family well. 

However, I believe this is what makes my work personal, as I can empathise with their grief. It's a responsibility to ensure the arrangement reflects their desires, and I am willing to go the extra mile to make it special. The little touches can make all the difference: a football badge, a wheatsheaf, a bee, knitting and needles—these help bring back fond memories. Sometimes even a particular herb or flower because it reminds them of their loved one.

When the work becomes difficult, the first thing I do when I get home is relax with a cup of tea. It's crucial for me to maintain my physical health as it positively impacts my mental well-being and stamina. So, I often take my dog for a walk and enjoy playing a few games of tennis.

If you’re looking to pay your final respects to someone special in your life, but need some assistance in choosing funeral flowers, you can read my blog here. Alternatively, get in touch with me directly here.