Grief and Growth- How Gardening Can Help Heal After Loss

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of renting an allotment. It was harder work than I expected, but it also brought a real sense of joy. There’s something so grounding about watching flowers and vegetables grow, especially at a time when life feels unsettled. For me, that moment came when my mum, who had Alzheimer’s, moved into a residential home. If you’ve experienced dementia with someone close, or even seen the advert on TV about how you start to lose a loved one before they’ve truly gone, you’ll understand the strange heartbreak of it all. It’s a slow, sad fading.

After visiting my mum, I often found myself emotionally drained. That little allotment became a bit of a refuge, a place I could go and just be. Even the weeding felt calming. Once I got busy with the jobs in front of me, I could either think through my visit or, if it all felt too much, simply focus on the task at hand. The digging, planting, and general pottering about absorbed me completely, giving my mind space to rest or reflect.

In the same way, when someone close to us dies, gardening can become a quiet kind of comfort. It gives us something to focus on, a reason to step outside, to keep going. There's something about nurturing new life that soothes the soul. Connecting with the soil, the weather, and the rhythm of the seasons helps bring us back to ourselves. It’s gentle, it’s healing, and it doesn’t ask for anything more than your presence.

Tending to a garden also reminds us of life’s natural cycle. We live, we thrive with care and patience, and one day, we fade. It’s not always easy to sit with those thoughts, but being among the plants makes it feel less frightening, more natural. Growing your loved one’s favourite flower can be a lovely way to feel close to them. Cutting a few blooms to bring inside might stir a smile or a memory. Maybe just passing the time watching the butterflies, bees, and ladybirds go about their business can bring a sense of calm and peace. And if you find yourself chatting to them while you’re out there, well, you wouldn’t be the only one, as some of my clients have often mentioned they find themselves talking to their loved ones, even though they are not there.

Flowers for Self-Care

How Fresh Blooms Boost Mood and Wellness

I often find myself musing over this irony: as florists, we’re surrounded by flowers every day, yet we rarely receive them ourselves. My husband’s usual response is, “But you work with flowers all the time, and there are always bits and bobs left over.” True, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love receiving them! He’s a caring man, but sometimes, men just don’t quite get it, do they?

So, you can imagine how special it felt to receive flowers from friends while I was recovering from surgery. How does it make you feel to receive flowers? Loved, cherished, remembered, thought of. It’s such a simple gesture, yet it speaks volumes.

And it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Even a humble bunch of daffodils on a crisp Spring day can bring the sunshine indoors. And who can resist smiling at a bright, cheerful bouquet of sunflowers?🌻 Delivering arrangements to clients and seeing their surprise and delight is one of the most satisfying parts of my job. Knowing that flowers can bring so much joy never gets old.

I’ll admit, I don’t often buy flowers for myself, but why not? If it brightens your day and lifts your spirits, isn’t that reason enough?

As the flower secretary at our local church, I’ve seen firsthand how much impact flowers can have. Our team of arrangers often hears wonderful compliments about their designs, and after services, the arrangements are sent to parishioners who may be unwell or grieving. The feedback is always heartwarming—how the flowers brighten their day, lift their mood, and make them feel cared for. Isn’t it remarkable that something as simple as flowers can have such a profound effect? 😊

What is it about flowers that works this magic? Is it the arrangement, the colours, or the blooms themselves? The truth is—it’s all of those things. The beauty of a design can inspire, while pastel tones bring calm and serenity, and vivid hues inject energy and vibrancy. Even the act of touching flowers and foliage can be grounding, offering a welcome distraction during tough times. And let’s not forget scent: the delicate fragrance of freesia or roses and the crisp freshness of eucalyptus are unmatched.

Science even backs this up—flowers are proven to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression. And it’s not just flowers; indoor plants play their part too. They clear the air, encourage relaxation, and pottering about with plants can be unexpectedly therapeutic. (Let’s not forget, even the King himself is known for chatting to his plants!)

So, whether it’s flowers, foliage, or a houseplant, never underestimate their power to heal, uplift, and connect us with nature’s beauty.

The Life of a Solo Funeral Florist

When I delved into the world of floristry, I knew I wasn't signing up for the traditional shop-owner role, complete with staff to manage. But what I didn’t anticipate was the solitude. I even joked about it on Facebook a few weeks back, but there's truth in jest: it all comes back to you. Sure, you're the boss making all the decisions, but you're also the creative mind, the accountant, the delivery person, the receptionist, the social media manager, and let's not forget the ever-important bucket scrubber! It can get lonely, with no one to bounce ideas off or simply chat with. I know it was my choice. However, over time, I've learned there are ways to alleviate the loneliness and not feel so isolated.

 During lockdown, I stumbled upon an online florists' group. It was a lifeline during those tough times, having people who understood the struggles, especially fellow solopreneurs. It provided motivation and a support network that I will be forever grateful for.

 Being my own boss is fulfilling, but sometimes, it's overwhelming – not the creative aspects, mind you. It's things like managing social media that can be draining. I recently took a break from Facebook, and oh, the liberation! Sometimes, prioritising your own well-being and mental health is the best gift you can give yourself.

We often place so much pressure on ourselves, especially with the constant expectation to maintain a social media presence. I have also learned it’s ok to ask for help sometimes, especially with areas that are just not my forte, reaching out to people who are good at the things I struggle with, gives me back the time to focus on the things I love and enjoy most about being a funeral florist.

 To combat overwhelm, I love to experiment with my flowers whenever I can. I've also enrolled in a couple of creative courses – one focused on art and meditation, a gift for the heart and soul, and the other, a willow obelisk workshop. What I've realised is, we don't 'play' enough as adults. As kids, playing was second nature, but somewhere along the line, we lose touch with the gift of playing. Engaging in playful activities transports you, brings joy, and alleviates stress.

So why not give it a try? It doesn't have to be elaborate – pick some flowers from your garden and arrange them in a vase or pick up a colouring book and pencils. You'll be surprised how at peace and in the moment, it can make you feel.