Grief and Growth- How Gardening Can Help Heal After Loss

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of renting an allotment. It was harder work than I expected, but it also brought a real sense of joy. There’s something so grounding about watching flowers and vegetables grow, especially at a time when life feels unsettled. For me, that moment came when my mum, who had Alzheimer’s, moved into a residential home. If you’ve experienced dementia with someone close, or even seen the advert on TV about how you start to lose a loved one before they’ve truly gone, you’ll understand the strange heartbreak of it all. It’s a slow, sad fading.

After visiting my mum, I often found myself emotionally drained. That little allotment became a bit of a refuge, a place I could go and just be. Even the weeding felt calming. Once I got busy with the jobs in front of me, I could either think through my visit or, if it all felt too much, simply focus on the task at hand. The digging, planting, and general pottering about absorbed me completely, giving my mind space to rest or reflect.

In the same way, when someone close to us dies, gardening can become a quiet kind of comfort. It gives us something to focus on, a reason to step outside, to keep going. There's something about nurturing new life that soothes the soul. Connecting with the soil, the weather, and the rhythm of the seasons helps bring us back to ourselves. It’s gentle, it’s healing, and it doesn’t ask for anything more than your presence.

Tending to a garden also reminds us of life’s natural cycle. We live, we thrive with care and patience, and one day, we fade. It’s not always easy to sit with those thoughts, but being among the plants makes it feel less frightening, more natural. Growing your loved one’s favourite flower can be a lovely way to feel close to them. Cutting a few blooms to bring inside might stir a smile or a memory. Maybe just passing the time watching the butterflies, bees, and ladybirds go about their business can bring a sense of calm and peace. And if you find yourself chatting to them while you’re out there, well, you wouldn’t be the only one, as some of my clients have often mentioned they find themselves talking to their loved ones, even though they are not there.

The Conscious Consumer's Guide to buying Flowers in May

It's all about seasonality. Yes, you can buy exotic orchids from Singapore or velvety roses flown in from Kenya, and they certainly have their charm, but what a shame it would be to overlook the stunning flowers grown right here in the UK. The month of May is bursting with local delights like alstroemeria, tulips, hellebores, and, if we’re lucky, the first of the peonies. There’s something uniquely special about working with what’s in season; it not only reflects the natural rhythm of the year but also supports our local growers and dramatically reduces our environmental impact.

Did you catch the recent feature on Countryfile about British tulip production? It shone a light on one of the leading growers based in Norfolk. That one nursery is part of a small group of six or so individual farms that produce around 75% of the tulips sold in the UK. Isn’t that incredible? Buying their blooms not only means fresher flowers on your kitchen table, but a fraction of the carbon emissions compared to those imported from overseas. What’s not to love about that?

Closer to home, there's a vibrant community of growers under the umbrella of Flowers from the Farm. This inspiring network brings together flower farmers across the UK, whether they're growing from a small back garden plot or working a sprawling field. Some sell directly to florists, others are florists themselves. Each one is playing a part in bringing beautiful, seasonal flowers to our homes in a way that respects both people and planet.

But it doesn’t stop at what goes into the bouquet; how we give flowers matters too. There’s a noticeable difference between a lovingly wrapped posy tied with raffia and one that arrives wrapped in layers of single-use plastic or popped in a disposable plastic vase. There’s nothing wrong with beautiful wrapping, but can it be reused or recycled? Perhaps the recipient can return a glass vase to be refilled, or you could even deliver a bouquet in a jam jar from your own kitchen cupboard. Small touches like these make a big difference when you're thinking more consciously about consumption.

Floral Trends 2025

What’s blooming in the world of floristry

With the world feeling more unpredictable than ever, the importance of championing seasonal and locally sourced flowers continues to grow. Sustainability is no longer just a buzzword—it’s shaping the future of floristry. We’ve become so accustomed to having whatever we want, whenever we want, but with new regulations—like plant and flower passports—importing blooms will become more expensive. This shift makes locally sourced flowers not only more practical but also a beautiful way to cut down on air miles and reduce our carbon footprint.

Sustainability extends beyond where our flowers come from—it’s also about how they are used. Whether for weddings, funerals, or everyday arrangements, sustainable floristry means creating designs with purpose beyond the event itself. Imagine funeral flowers designed as individual hand-tied bouquets that form a stunning coffin spray. After the service, these can be placed in vases at the wake, gifted to loved ones, or taken home as cherished keepsakes—rather than ending up in a pile of waste at the crematorium. Isn’t that a much more meaningful way for flowers to continue their journey?

Each year, Pantone’s colour choice influences art, fashion, and design—and floristry is no exception. For 2025, the warm and indulgent Mocha Mousse takes centre stage, complementing the peachy hues of last year’s Peach Fuzz. This year’s palette leans into muted, earthy tones—rich and inviting, like a velvety chocolate mousse (but maybe that’s just my food-loving brain talking!).

In bouquets, these tones can be introduced with roses like Toffee, paired with creamy neutrals, soft pinks, and deep burgundy accents. For an extra layer of depth, silk ribbons in warm, complementary shades will elevate the look even further.

Dried flowers are firmly back in vogue, seamlessly blending with these warm, natural colour palettes. They bring a wonderful mix of textures—soft, wispy grasses adding movement, while structured dried blooms provide longevity. Expect to see more arrangements combining fresh and dried elements, as well as soft, pastel-hued dried bouquets for an effortlessly romantic feel.

Closer to home, natural and unstructured designs are becoming the preferred style, particularly with British-grown flowers. There’s a growing love for bouquets with a foraged, organic aesthetic—loose, whimsical, and full of charm. This extends to funeral flowers too, with more people opting for flowing, natural arrangements that reflect a sense of gentle beauty and sustainability.

With sustainability in mind, you may like to read about the ethos behind “The Farewell Flowers Directory” of which I’m please to say I'm a member www.farewellflowers.co.uk

Another trend emerging in 2025 is the power of colour blocking—whether that’s chic, monochrome arrangements that highlight the structure and elegance of each flower, or bold, confident splashes of neon. Picture striking combinations of deep blues, bright yellows, and vibrant lime greens—unexpected, but full of life.

Floristry in 2025 is all about balance: sustainability meets creativity, and timeless elegance pairs with bold, modern touches. Whether soft, earthy tones or daring, electric colours, flowers remain a powerful way to express emotions, honour memories, and celebrate life.

Seasonal Simplicity

Using Natural Materials to Create Meaningful Farewells

Seasonal simplicity offers a beautiful way to create meaningful farewells, especially in times when we are encouraged to consider natural alternatives to the plastics of the past. Even when fresh flowers are limited, it doesn’t mean we can’t craft heartfelt and meaningful floral tributes—we just need to think differently, to step outside the box.

Some might think that without flowers, a design would lack interest or beauty, but I would disagree. There’s so much to admire in the subtle tones and textures of natural foliage. Think of the warm hues of autumnal leaves—orange, gold, and red—or the soft greens and reds of hydrangea heads. Maybe add some cheerful red berries or delicate clusters of red or green skimmia buds. You can create designs that are every bit as beautiful and unique as those featuring flowers.

Personal touches can make a tribute even more meaningful. For example, a design for a gentleman could focus on a rich combination of textures and colours using different types of foliage, cones, bracts, and grasses. If he was a bird lover or pigeon fancier, a few carefully chosen feathers would be a lovely addition. For someone who loved long walks in the woods with their cherished dog, why not include elements like fallen leaves, lichen-covered branches, or bracken?

These natural materials evoke happy memories and can serve as a thoughtful reminder of the times spent together.

Sometimes, the most unexpected materials can bring a design to life. Dried poppy heads, ornamental grasses, skeletal ferns, or the bold forms of dried allium and agapanthus heads can all add striking dimensions to an arrangement. These items, often overlooked, have a beauty all their own and can create a tribute that feels truly unique and personal.

Arrangements made with these kinds of natural materials can also have a deeper meaning. Using a base of moss and sticks, these designs are fully biodegradable, returning gently to the earth with no negative impact on the environment. This approach is not only beautiful but also aligns with a growing desire to honour our loved ones in ways that are kind to the planet.

While the example shown here was originally intended as a Christmas door wreath, there is no reason why this approach couldn’t be adapted for a funeral tribute.

Flowers for Self-Care

How Fresh Blooms Boost Mood and Wellness

I often find myself musing over this irony: as florists, we’re surrounded by flowers every day, yet we rarely receive them ourselves. My husband’s usual response is, “But you work with flowers all the time, and there are always bits and bobs left over.” True, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love receiving them! He’s a caring man, but sometimes, men just don’t quite get it, do they?

So, you can imagine how special it felt to receive flowers from friends while I was recovering from surgery. How does it make you feel to receive flowers? Loved, cherished, remembered, thought of. It’s such a simple gesture, yet it speaks volumes.

And it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Even a humble bunch of daffodils on a crisp Spring day can bring the sunshine indoors. And who can resist smiling at a bright, cheerful bouquet of sunflowers?🌻 Delivering arrangements to clients and seeing their surprise and delight is one of the most satisfying parts of my job. Knowing that flowers can bring so much joy never gets old.

I’ll admit, I don’t often buy flowers for myself, but why not? If it brightens your day and lifts your spirits, isn’t that reason enough?

As the flower secretary at our local church, I’ve seen firsthand how much impact flowers can have. Our team of arrangers often hears wonderful compliments about their designs, and after services, the arrangements are sent to parishioners who may be unwell or grieving. The feedback is always heartwarming—how the flowers brighten their day, lift their mood, and make them feel cared for. Isn’t it remarkable that something as simple as flowers can have such a profound effect? 😊

What is it about flowers that works this magic? Is it the arrangement, the colours, or the blooms themselves? The truth is—it’s all of those things. The beauty of a design can inspire, while pastel tones bring calm and serenity, and vivid hues inject energy and vibrancy. Even the act of touching flowers and foliage can be grounding, offering a welcome distraction during tough times. And let’s not forget scent: the delicate fragrance of freesia or roses and the crisp freshness of eucalyptus are unmatched.

Science even backs this up—flowers are proven to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression. And it’s not just flowers; indoor plants play their part too. They clear the air, encourage relaxation, and pottering about with plants can be unexpectedly therapeutic. (Let’s not forget, even the King himself is known for chatting to his plants!)

So, whether it’s flowers, foliage, or a houseplant, never underestimate their power to heal, uplift, and connect us with nature’s beauty.

Scent and Memory

The Role of Flower Fragrances in Funerals

"Nothing brings to life again a forgotten memory like fragrance," as Christopher Poindexter beautifully said.

Our sense of smell is deeply tied to memory, and in funeral floristry, this connection can add another layer of meaning to a farewell. Including herbs like rosemary, which symbolises remembrance, doesn’t just serve a decorative purpose—it can transport us back to happy memories, like the scent of rosemary in a Sunday roast, reminding us of family gatherings and time spent with loved ones. It’s a small but powerful way to honour someone’s memory.

Flowers like lavender and Lily of the Valley can evoke similar memories. Lavender, with its soothing fragrance, might remind us of childhood moments, like gathering flower heads or the scent of an elderly relative’s soap. Adding such fragrant blooms to funeral arrangements brings both comfort and familiarity, offering a sense of calm during difficult times. Just as importantly, scents are personal—while one person may dislike the smell of lilies, for another, they might bring a sense of peace and nostalgia.

When my Mum passed, I didn’t hesitate to include freesias in her coffin spray, knowing how much she loved them. I think she would have approved.❤

It’s those personal connections that make funeral flowers more than just a visual tribute—they become a sensory reminder of the person we’re saying goodbye to.

I’ve also been asked to include flowers from a loved one’s garden in the funeral arrangements. Incorporating scented roses, lavender, or rosemary from their own garden adds such a personal touch. These familiar scents remind us of their life, their passions, and the spaces they cherished. In the end, it’s these little details that help us remember, offering comfort and connection through the power of fragrance.

The Healing Power of Flowers

How Funeral Floristry Can Bring Comfort and Closure

Scent has an incredible ability to uplift and heal. Have you ever held a sprig of rosemary, lavender, or rose, closed your eyes, and let its heavenly fragrance wash over you? There's a profound healing that can come through scent, but also through sight and touch. Flowers are calming, bringing peace to even the most difficult situations.

Imagine stepping into a garden – whether your own or a grand one like those at the RHS. It’s not just the fragrances that embrace you, but the vibrant tapestry of colours, the intricate details of each petal, the gentle hum of bees, and the flutter of butterflies. In those moments, we are reminded of something larger than ourselves. The natural world has a way of putting things into perspective, offering serenity in the midst of turmoil. Like us, flowers follow a cycle, and this may help to support us through the grieving process.

Having attended many funerals over the years, I’ve often been struck by how even a modest arrangement of flowers can make an extraordinary difference. Whether adorning the coffin or placed thoughtfully around the venue, flowers bring a gentle beauty that speaks volumes. While everyone’s vision for a funeral may differ, I always feel a pang of sadness when there are no flowers – not even a simple spray of greenery to lift the atmosphere. Flowers have the unique ability to ground us, to focus our thoughts on the person we are remembering. Many families now choose to distribute flowers among the congregation after the service, creating a deeply personal touch. It brings a sense of comfort knowing that these blooms will continue to be appreciated in someone’s home, long after the day has passed.

Certain flowers hold powerful symbolism, evoking not only their meaning and colours but also cherished memories from childhood. Buttercups and daisies often take us back to those simpler times. One flower that always brings a smile to my face is the Antirrhinum – or as I fondly called them, ‘bunny rabbits’. Growing up, my mum would show me how to gently squeeze the flower heads to make them ‘twitch’ like little rabbits. Such a small thing, yet the comfort and joy it brings even now is immeasurable.

Just recently, I visited a family to discuss arrangements for a funeral. The mother had a deep love for wildflowers, and they wanted the floral designs to reflect that natural beauty. We spoke about creating arrangements using only sustainable methods, avoiding plastic and harmful chemicals so that, like the cycle of life, the flowers would eventually compost back into the earth. It felt like such a fitting tribute to a life lived in harmony with nature.

Personalised Farewells

Unique Floral Ideas for Summer Funerals

Summer, with its abundance of blooms, provides an ideal backdrop for creating personalised floral tributes for funerals. The choices are endless, and the selection can reflect the hobbies and personality of your loved one. It doesn't always have to be traditional flowers.

For a gardener, consider a coffin spray that combines both flowers and vegetables or perhaps just veggies and foliage. Men, who might not be fond of traditional floral arrangements, may appreciate the unique textures, colors, and shapes of foliage. Often considered just a filler, greenery can be a stunning centerpiece all on its own, showcasing its versatility and beauty.

Not every arrangement has to be a coffin spray. A meadow-style arrangement in a shallow tin or box is a charming alternative. You could also fill a box with jam jars brimming with flowers, which can then be shared with the congregation after the service.

For someone who loved walking, gardening, or lived in their work boots, these personal items can be transformed into unique vases filled with flowers, fruits, and vegetables. This creative approach honours their life and passions in a meaningful way.

Using seasonal flowers for these arrangements not only aligns with the time of year but also offers a more natural look. Local blooms are not just beautiful—they are also eco-friendly. Why choose imported orchids when there are so many stunning flowers available locally? Supporting local growers not only helps the environment but also upholds traditions of the past.

Incorporating these personalised and eco-friendly ideas into a funeral can create a truly special farewell, celebrating a life well-lived in a unique and memorable way.