The emotional and psychological benefits of flowers during times of grief

Losing a loved one is never easy. The weight of grief can feel overwhelming, leaving us struggling to find solace in the midst of sadness. However, amidst the darkness, there is light to be found in the presence of flowers.

However, it's not just about cut flowers - simply taking a stroll, inhaling the fresh air, absorbing the scenery, and even admiring foliage can be uplifting. Even if the flowers aren't in full bloom, the leaves are still appealing and sometimes fragrant. Immersing oneself in the delicate details of flowers can offer a much-needed escape from the daily pain. The senses of touch, sight, and smell can transport us to a different, more serene place.

During a funeral, flowers can serve as a comforting focal point when everything else seems overwhelming. The fragrance of the flowers can be soothing, and certain floral arrangements may carry symbolic meanings that provide solace to those grieving. Sometimes, when words fail, flowers can express exactly what we're feeling.

In addition to offering solace before and during a funeral, flowers can also be a meaningful way to honour the memory of a loved one on the anniversary of their passing - a gesture that can be just as impactful down the line. Grief may not fade away completely, but it may evolve over time. For instance, after my Mum's passing, friends gifted me a rose bush as a thoughtful reminder that they were thinking of me and a beautiful symbol of my Mum’s enduring presence in my life.

It's important to acknowledge that every individual grieves differently. While some may prefer not to have a traditional funeral service, opting instead for a memorial focused on flowers and photographs, others may find solace in a more traditional approach. Some flowers may evoke negative memories - perhaps the individual disliked the scent of lilies, while others may bring about positive reminiscences, like the partner who always received a bouquet of red roses. It's essential to respect each person's unique grieving process and find healing through the beauty and symbolism of flowers.

Floral memorials for Pet Funerals

I was talking to friends this morning about how our dogs become so much part of the family,  for good reason.....they are our companions and confidants, and offer us comfort and unconditional love. And not necessarily just dogs but cats, guinea pigs, horses, whatever your passion.  

Some may argue that they are "just" pets, but as devoted pet owners, we have to disagree. Our pets become like children to us, and their passing leaves an indescribable void in our lives. It is natural, then, that we want to find ways to celebrate their lives and help us grieve, much like we would for any loved one.

So, the question is, should we honour our pets in the same way we do for humans? The answer lies within your own heart. If your pet holds a special place in your life, why not celebrate their life and passing? It doesn't have to be elaborate or complicated; simple gestures can make all the difference.

Consider adorning your pet's final resting place with a small posy of flowers or a potted plant. For example, my guinea pigs rest beneath a beautiful rosemary bush – did you know that rosemary signifies remembrance? Including rosemary in a bouquet is a lovely way to pay tribute to your beloved friend. You could even create a posy of greens, carrots, and cauliflower, incorporating all their favourite foods. These heartfelt gestures provide comfort and bring a touch of their essence to the memorial.

Just like with human funerals, I highly recommend taking pictures of these floral creations. They serve as tangible memories of your cherished pet, bringing a smile to your face even during the most difficult times. These images capture the beauty and love shared between you and your furry companion, ensuring their spirit lives on.

It is important to know that there is no right or wrong way to remember and honour our pets. Each tribute is as unique as the bond we shared with them. Whether it's through simple floral arrangements, photos, or any other personal memento, the key is to find what resonates with you and brings comfort to your grieving heart.

In conclusion, our pets are more than just animals; they are family. Their impact on our lives deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated. So, as you mourn their passing, consider incorporating floral memorials as a way to honour and remember them. By paying tribute to their lives, we validate the love and connection we share, bringing solace during this difficult time.

Unique Autumn Inspired Funeral Flower Ideas

The abundance of summer gives way to less choice in flowers (particularly local farm grown) in Autumn, so it's sometimes necessary to consider using other items within the floral farewell pieces.  

When arranging autumn florals there are so many wonderful natural elements to bring in, it's not always about the blooms; there are seed pods, skeletal stems, horse chestnuts, cones and acorns to name a few.  Leaves in an array of colours.  Pumpkins and gourds.  If someone was an avid gardener and loved their plot or allotment why not include fruit or veg into the design?

For those who appreciate a more rustic and natural look, incorporating twigs, branches, and dried grass can create a beautiful autumn-inspired piece. These elements bring a sense of nostalgia and the beauty of nature's cycle into the arrangement. Adding in some dried lavender or lavender essential oil can also bring a calming and soothing scent to the arrangement.

One flower that comes into its own in Autumn is the Chrysanthemum offering beautiful shades of bronze, pink and red or sunny yellows, golds, creams and whites.  Did you know that the Chrysanthemum means different things to different people and cultures?  In Japan the flower signifies death and whilst many of us associate it with this too, it can also represent rebirth.  The flower can be used to remember a long life full of happiness and joy.

The garden design for a cherished Dad (below) reminds us of the change in seasons. Cones and bark add interest and different textures, whilst rosemary signifies remembrance of the loved one. Dahlias, like Chrysanthemum, epitomise the tones and seasonality of Autumn.

As a funeral florist, it is always important to listen to the wishes and preferences of the grieving family. Whether they prefer a more traditional floral arrangement or want to incorporate the beauty and symbolism of autumn, there are endless possibilities to create a unique and meaningful tribute.

In conclusion, autumn offers a variety of unique and creative options when it comes to funeral flower arrangements. By incorporating natural elements, using seasonal flowers, and adding personal touches, you can create a beautiful and meaningful tribute that honours the life of the departed. Remember, it's not just about the blooms, but also about bringing in the essence of the season and the memories of the loved one.

My Journey as a Funeral Florist

Did I intend to become a florist? If I'm honest, I'd probably say no! After having kids, I knew I wanted to pursue something creative because my previous job as a civil servant didn't really interest me. While it had its moments, I wanted to find something that truly sparked my passion while still allowing me to take care of my children.

Discovering My Passion for Floral Design:

Discovering my passion for floral design came several years later after attending college courses and gaining experience. I started by arranging wedding flowers, which I enjoyed, but it was the funeral work that truly ignited my passion. It's not just about the flowers and creating a design, it's also about listening to the client. Looking back, my experience in the office job actually provided a good foundation for this. As an officer of the Public Trust Office, I was accustomed to helping people who were unable to manage their own finances. It required delicately discussing their needs with their representatives.

As a visual person, I tend to sketch out a few ideas and write down my thoughts when designing a funeral piece. Then, I step away and let them sink in. If it's a complex design, I may consider various options before making a final decision. Ensuring the mechanics of the design work before even considering the flowers allows me to focus on choosing the right foliage and florals.

Inspiring and Crafting Unique Tributes:

Inspiration for my designs often stems from conversations with clients. We discuss how they remember the deceased, including funny moments, unique traits, and passions. It's a privilege to hear their stories. However, it can be challenging at times, especially when I'm surrounded by an entire family with different preferences. Emotions can run high, and my previous office experience comes in handy as I navigate these situations with sensitivity, acting as a mediator. I prefer not to rush people, but decisions need to be made, so I gently guide them toward a conclusion regarding the design.

Navigating Grief and Emotional Resilience:

Attending client meetings can be quite stressful sometimes because I never know what to expect. However, I rely on my judgement and experience to offer advice and guidance. As a sensitive person, I sometimes find it difficult not to become emotional, especially if I know the family well. 

However, I believe this is what makes my work personal, as I can empathise with their grief. It's a responsibility to ensure the arrangement reflects their desires, and I am willing to go the extra mile to make it special. The little touches can make all the difference: a football badge, a wheatsheaf, a bee, knitting and needles—these help bring back fond memories. Sometimes even a particular herb or flower because it reminds them of their loved one.

When the work becomes difficult, the first thing I do when I get home is relax with a cup of tea. It's crucial for me to maintain my physical health as it positively impacts my mental well-being and stamina. So, I often take my dog for a walk and enjoy playing a few games of tennis.

If you’re looking to pay your final respects to someone special in your life, but need some assistance in choosing funeral flowers, you can read my blog here. Alternatively, get in touch with me directly here.

Funeral Flowers - Frequently Asked Questions

There are many practical things to deal with when you lose a friend or loved one and when you’re emotional it becomes even more daunting. So you might find it helpful to know the type of questions asked when ordering your flowers and why they are asked.

The full name of the Deceased 

These details are added to the back of the message card so the arrangement arrives at the Funeral Directors, ensuring it does not get muddled with another funeral

The full name and address of the Funeral Director 

This is where the arrangement will be delivered. In the past, best practice was for the flowers to be delivered to home addresses and whilst this occasionally happens, it is preferable that the arrangements are taken directly to the funeral parlour, so that they can all arrive together with the coffin to the venue

The time and the place where the funeral will take place 

This will allow time for the arrangements to arrive fresh and in good time for the Funeral Director to arrange the flowers in the hearse

The type of floral design required 

There are many and varied designs available for example, coffin sprays, wreaths, posy and bespoke arrangements

Sometimes the flowers for a funeral just need to be beautifully simple. A little bouquet perfect as a farewell from a child (see attached photo for inspiration)

Whilst this covers the main questions, in addition, I would also ask about the person's likes and hobbies, favourite colours and flowers, which gives a more rounded picture of them and assists me in personalising my designs. It's important to remember that these are farewell flowers which are as unique as the person and who's life they are intended to celebrate.

If you’re looking to pay your final respects to someone special in your life, but need some assistance in choosing funeral flowers, you can read my blog here. Alternatively, get in touch with me directly here.

How Much Do Funeral Flowers Cost

This is quite a difficult question because it depends on the type of arrangement you choose, the size and the choice of flowers included. 

Some people do not appreciate the amount of work involved in these arrangements, so wonder why they are expensive.

But if you consider conversations/meetings with clients, planning, ordering, collection, conditioning of flowers and foliage and sundries, without even spending time physically putting the design together, it gives you an idea of what is involved.

So back to the original question. Small arrangements, such as posies can start around £35 and coffin sprays upwards of £150. Click here for more guidance on funeral flowers and my price guidelines. If there's something you have in mind for a special loved one, you can contact me here and I'll be happy to discuss your requirements.

Choosing your funeral flowers

I'm often asked what the most popular flowers are for funerals and in the past I would have said lilies and roses.  Whilst these are still popular, trends are changing…

Some people really have an aversion to lilies, because of their scent but also for the very reason they are associated with funerals. In my experience the styles of arrangements are changing too, so families do not always want structured but prefer a more natural look to their farewell flowers. Click here to read more in my blog on A Guide To Choosing Your Funeral Flowers

Sharing a couple of funeral flowers to take a look for inspiration

If that's something that you would like to consider, contact me at www.flourishingflowers.co.uk. Alternatively, follow me on my Facebook page HERE for more funeral flower tips and inspiration.

What To Write On Funeral Flower Cards

When you order funeral flowers you’ll be asked what message you’d like on the arrangement. 

Whether it's a friend or a loved one, where do you start?  I've never been a great one for words but does it really matter as long as the sentiment comes from the heart? On a practical note the cards have limited space, so if in doubt my advice is to keep it short and simple.  Here are a few that may help to make the decision easier:

Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us every day.

Unseen, unheard, but always near

Still loved, still missed and very dear.

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay forever. [A A Milne - Winnie the Pooh]

 Forever in our Hearts

Gone but never forgotten

❤️

Organising funerals can be incredibly distressing, and whilst I can’t wave a magic wand and make it all go away, what I can do is be there to listen to your story. What did your loved one like? From their favourite memories, their passion, a hobby, their favourite flower or colours, are questions we will work through together to help you organise the perfect flower tribute for your special loved one.

I will support and guide you to choose personal and fitting flower tributes, as well as advise you on the funeral process, alleviating some of the stress of the situation.  One arrangement does not fit all, nor should it. Contact me HERE me to enquire further.

A Guide To Choosing Your Funeral Flowers

Are you looking to pay your final respects to someone special in your life?

It goes without saying that it’s never easy when you lose a loved one. Choosing and organising the right funeral flowers can be a little difficult, especially when we’re not in the right frame of mind and feel there is too much to deal with - both practically and emotionally. Understandably too. So with that in mind, below are 5 floral designs to give you a guide to choosing your tribute.

Funeral Flower Types

The Heart

The open or closed heart are often chosen by close family members, or perhaps by children signifying the love they had for the deceased, and acts as a very personal statement.

A Coffin Spray

A coffin spray, sometimes known as a double ended spray or Casket arrangement.

Traditionally this is the arrangement that sits on the coffin as it is taken into the chapel for the service. It is often chosen by the close family members as their parting gift. Some families prefer to have this coupled with donations to a charity rather than masses of flowers.

There are choices in respect of how these are arranged such as 'living' arrangements, those that can be taken apart and distributed amongst the mourners or one that will remain at the crematorium or place of worship. For further details, take a look at my home page HERE

The Wreath

The wreath signifies the circle of eternal life, so is often seen as appropriate for funerals. 

These can be made up with a mass of one flower or a mix of different flowers and colours.

Alternatively, these could be more natural structures of twisted branches of willow or dogwood with foliage and flowers.  Whatever the choice, this is a classic and tasteful arrangement

The Sheaf

This is a hand tied arrangement that is designed to lay flat, in a teardrop shape. This can be made up of a mix of flowers and styles both classic and contemporary. It is often popular made up of one single type of flower like a rose with added foliage.

The Posy 

This is a perfect arrangement for a funeral and is an especially popular choice with friends or for young children.  A round design that can be seen from all sides, with a dome shape to the top. If you are in doubt about the type of design to choose, you cannot go far wrong with this.

I feel that times are changing and hopefully for the better in respect of floristry. My clients have often wanted more than a standard arrangement and why should they only have these just because it's always been done that way, when there are so many alternatives

Take for example the massed chrysanthemum arrangements.  Now we can offer more than this - something more sustainable, something with longevity and not just thrown away after a couple of days.  This is why I have introduced living arrangements to my portfolio. 

These can be made in various shapes and can be planted out giving the family some comfort at a difficult time after the funeral.  They can be made up of a mix of annuals and perennials at this time of year, or when plants are more limited during the winter, perhaps bulbs, perennials and some cut flowers. 

 The joy of these is that they can be arranged with what is in season. Give me a call if you would like to discuss further, or contact me HERE.

Organising funerals can be incredibly distressing, and whilst I can’t wave a magic wand and make it all go away, what I can do is be there to listen to your story. What did your loved one like? From their favourite memories, their passion, a hobby, their favourite flower or colours, are questions we will work through together to help you organise the perfect flower tribute for your special loved one.

I will support and guide you to choose personal and fitting flower tributes, as well as advise you on the funeral process, alleviating some of the stress of the situation.  One arrangement does not fit all, nor should it. Contact me HERE me to enquire further.